Sometimes, quitting is necessary.聽
Let me reword that 鈥� sometimes, changing it up is necessary.
I tend to have difficulty allowing myself to quit one thing and try something else. It can be hard to feel OK about quitting something because it means you didn鈥檛 see it all the way through. I鈥檓 sure we鈥檝e all succumbed to the pressure of hustle culture and believed that 鈥渨inners never quit and quitters never win鈥� at some point. But honestly, I鈥檓 just tired of continuing to force things that clearly aren鈥檛 working for me anymore.
Over the past couple of months, I was constantly procrastinating writing articles for my blog, 鈥淔ully Booked.鈥� When I began writing that blog during the fall semester of my first year, I assumed that I would always be reading a new book and rarely, if ever, have trouble coming up with new things to write about. Surprise 鈥� not really. I was wrong.聽
I would sit and stare at a blank Google doc, embarrassed and frustrated that I hadn鈥檛 been reading anything new recently and couldn鈥檛 think of anything to write about related to books or reading. Part of me knew that it was time to try writing about something new, but another part of me believed I had to continue that blog until I graduated because it was my choice to start it in the first place. It took me telling that to someone else to realize how irrational it was. Saying it aloud made it obvious to me that even though I was technically quitting something, I wasn鈥檛 doing it without a reason or another option.
I had the idea to write a new blog about mental health and college-related experiences during this past fall semester after submitting an article for 鈥淔ully Booked鈥� at the last possible minute. It took me until just a few weeks ago to finally reach out to my editor about changing my blog topic, and the reason I finally did that was because I changed my mindset from 鈥淚鈥檓 quitting鈥� to 鈥淚鈥檓 changing it up.鈥� Seems like an easy thing to do, right? Well, not for everyone, and definitely not for me.聽
I changed it up in another area of my life recently 鈥� working out. For about a year, I operated on a workout schedule that involved running, cycling and light weightlifting. When I started this routine at the beginning of 2024, I genuinely enjoyed it. I would wake up early, walk to the gym, do my pre-planned workout and feel great throughout the rest of the day. I continued the routine when I went back home in the summer, and I tried to keep it going when I returned to campus in August. But, within the first month of the semester, I began dreading going to the gym. I began finding any excuse I could to not go to the gym. Unsurprisingly, I felt guilty about this. I used to enjoy this routine, so why did I suddenly hate it?聽
At first, my solution to this was forcing myself into the same routine again around October. That didn鈥檛 even last a week. So, early this semester, I went to a yoga class 鈥� something I hadn鈥檛 done in months 鈥� in an attempt to change up my workouts. In high school, I tried to do yoga regularly, but I genuinely didn鈥檛 enjoy it, so I wasn鈥檛 expecting to go into that class and want to start doing yoga every day. Long story short, I鈥檝e been doing yoga at least once a day ever since then.聽
I had a conversation with a friend recently about possibly changing her major. Of course, there鈥檚 anxiety and uncertainty with this. What if she switches majors, regrets it and wants to return to her original major? But, this wasn鈥檛 an idea that suddenly entered her mind. It came after months of questioning whether she was truly passionate about what she first declared as her major. If she does decide to make this change, it鈥檚 probably going to be a nerve-wracking jump, but without jumping, she could be stuck in an area of study she鈥檚 unhappy with for the next two years.
When we鈥檙e forced to change the way we do something, we don鈥檛 have time to question it because we aren鈥檛 given any other option. However, when it鈥檚 up to us to decide if we keep going down one path or test out another one, giving ourselves permission to change paths can be riddled with anxiety and even guilt. If you couldn鈥檛 already tell, this entire blog post has basically been a stream of consciousness as I鈥檝e been thinking about my resistance to quitting or changing the way I do things.聽
I鈥檝e been frustrated with the pressure I put on myself to keep pushing through things when I have plenty of reasons to do it differently. I guess all I can really do is make a change when it feels necessary, so that鈥檚 what I鈥檓 doing with this blog. I was starting to dread writing about books every two weeks, but I鈥檓 excited to start writing more about my personal experiences as a college student and with mental health.